yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
