youre lurking in front of me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
