Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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