did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
