the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
