I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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