since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
