I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns