There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
