it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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