and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
