my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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