My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
