I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
