Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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