Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize