I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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