billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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