So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
