when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
