Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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