Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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