Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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