Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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