weddingsv make me drug and hornr
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
