don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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