I wish I could punch you in the face.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
