Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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