Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My dick has a subreddit
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
