I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize