I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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