drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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