hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
