so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
