That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
