haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
