You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
