Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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