Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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