We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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