Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
