You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize