so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
