Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
