Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
