Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
