I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
