Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
