I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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