he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
