Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
