no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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