WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
