is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
