Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
