I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
