Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
