fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Who wears a wallet chain?!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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