Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
