One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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