Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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