I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
