Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
