I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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