we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just want nice things and good sex
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
